The Attraction Phases
Emote while being a man. Most men don’t know what to do or when to do it. So they end up being the perfect, sweet and sensitive man, trying to make up for not knowing what to do and how to do it. Making yourself ok for a girl is not ok. It’s not the way to attraction. People do not care how you feel unless you have triggered the same feelings in them.
It’s not like the movies. Badgering of needy, boring behaviour will not get you anywhere. Unlocking a women desire is the only way for her to reciprocate your feelings. That’s a very push/pull method and is solid gold.
Spoiling her and always being the nice understanding guy will lead to one kind of romance, as Lady Gaga would say it a Bad Romance! Don’t be the friend don’t be the doormat. Be the man, being nice is sweet, but it’s not being attractive.
Deep stimulation is the way to stir up a woman’s emotions. Certain rules must be applied first to reach the level of such emotional stimulation, certain steps and methods you have to progress through, like powering up for a final boss in a video game. And these are called the phases of attraction. And we’re going to go through each one.
SELECT YOUR TARGET
Be different for every girl. Radiate a sincerity and cockiness when needed. Be fussy, be picky it leads to being more attractive. It also changes your outlook to be selective, it reprograms your mind.
You will make a million excuses why you shouldn’t approach a girl. You will fault her and yourself, find tons of reasons why you won’t approach. But none of these will work or be worth it and by being selective and being picky, you won’t be able to call up these reasons, because you’ve found a target that has met your criteria.
Now don’t hesitate just do it, count to 5 then talk. Count to 3 then walk, carry on counting while you walk, when you get to 5 tap her on her shoulder and start talking. Hesitate at your own peril.
SPARK THE ATTRACTION
When it comes to meeting women, timing what you do is everything. Most guys think they have to be deep and romantic right off the bat. That is very wrong, they do it too soon, there is a time and a place for everything.
Being deep, heavy and serious comes much later. At first you need to get her to smile, laugh and have fun, to build attraction and show you’re a man of substance. By teasing and playing with her. I use the little sister mindset here (I treat her like my little sister, being playful and teasing her).
Careful not to insult her, this is such a problem, teasing and being funny is one thing but to insult is bad. There is a fine line between being funny and cocky and being hurtful and a jerk. Most guys starting out trying to tease and be playful insult whilst trying and make a mess up, this is very wrong for obvious reasons. Be mindful of what you say.
A girl will only care what you think and will want to impress you when she thinks you’re a man of substance. Subtle breaking down of her resistance will achieve this. This is why we tease and play. We do what I call “human teasing“. We slightly make them less super and more human by correcting or pointing out subtle flaws i.e. “there something on your nose while rubbing yours “or say “your hair is out of place” then you touch it to correct it, this helps with the kino as well. It’s all about certain things being effective at the right time.
Now it’s time to make her the hoop jumper. Qualify her and give her statements of qualification. We must Challenge her, trigger investment on her part. Give a statement that needs her to be ok, like saying “I will only date blondes” or saying “I can’t date a girl who doesn’t like football” or a very tired and tested good common one is “tell me 3 interesting thing about yourself”. This makes her talk about herself, making herself ok for you, being the girl you want her to be and investing in you.
TRUST + COMFORT
Once she has jumped through our hoops and latched onto our qualification by investing, then we know it is time to be the deep meaningful serious guy. It is time to create trust and comfort.
Women by nature and because of a lifetime of programming do not trust men. We have to flip this script by doing a serious of things at the same time to speed up this process. We have to Listen while doing A&A (affirming and asking, while we talk and she says something, we cant make it sound like and interrogation and probe her, so when she says something like “I just got back from Paris, you must say “I love Paris, I went last summer, loved the pastries, what was your favourite part?” instead of just asking what her favourite part was).
Also having commonalties, mirroring her movements and getting her to do the same by mirroring yours (e.g. like smiling, if you smile she will smile too). It will be a speed up of all this comfort building they would normally take weeks in just a few minutes.
Close off the interaction on a high note, if you got the moxie to kiss then kiss. Don’t get left in eh friend zone, the dreaded LJBF is just a few words away.
Personally I’d rather loose out than get that, try hard and do it right by yourself don’t waste your emotions and time. Go for the close, if you get rejected so be it. It’s better than wasting time and being the friend.
I’ve looked at it like this, if you’ve gone through all the other steps then it won’t be much of a risk, and if need be, just number close her if you getting the vibe, by telling her to giver you her number, never ask for it, people respond better to being told what to do. The make a second date.
Try build up the moxie by then to re step and close. For a good formula, I say get the number first, and then go for the kiss, that way if it blows out you can try again by making a second date. But you must be the man and go for gold, because you’ll never know.