Can Nice Guys Still Get The Girls?
“Women only like jerks” “nice guys finish last” “girls only go for assholes”, this kind of thinking is bullshit.
This can be perceived by “nice guy culture” as an excuse for a poor love life and justified because they are such catchy sayings.
This is perceived only. An extension of conditioning is all it really is. Many guys who are conditioned that women don’t like sex tend to then also not be sexual in nature to appease them and ends up in a giant loop.
“Well I wasn’t pushy with her, I wasn’t desperate or needy for sex” “she still didn’t have sex with me or even pay attention to me” “women must not like sex”. This one can take years to get out of, abandon this shit right here right now. This is ALL verbally based. Nothing you can be, or project or show sexually is “jerk”, nothing you can be or show or project is “needy”, “desperate” or “pushy” barring stuff like:
Ramming your pelvis in to hers upon first meeting (jerk)
Slapping her ass as she walks by (sexist jerk)
Hugging all over her on first sign of interest (needy)
Salivating and rubbing all over her (desperate)
Grabbing her arm and trying to make her get sexual with you (pushy).
Laughing or smiling cause she is emotionally disturbed (insensitive dickhead)
Which is all obvious stuff of course.
Other than blatant things like the above you would have to SAY Jerkish or needy things to convey them:
“quit talking about your sickly little brother I am sick of hearing it” as an example of jerk, or desperate things sexually “I know we just met but I haven’t had a woman in so long, please sleep with me tonight” as an example of needy.
In other words feel what you are. Feel your desire; don’t quell it for worry you’ll be thought of one way or another. Your actions and words are how you will be thought of (more on this later, lot more). Women can’t read your mind and tell what you are thinking, and even if they could, quelled sexuality would not be a turn on. This leads us to our next example.
“Chicks dig gay guys” or women say, “all the good men are gay”.
Yeah they SAY they like them. Remember above? Well they also by “the code” have to say they like a man who doesn’t care about sex. They even hang out with them. Hug them, give them kisses, dance with them, and leave the club with them. Probably sounds better than what you are getting right? But guess what!
They don’t sleep with them cause they are GAY. Barring bisexuals who deal with the same sexual issues we do with women, women LIKE gay guys they don’t have sex with them for obvious reasons.
“We want what runs from us”
“We want what we can’t have”
“Women like a guy who doesn’t pay any attention to them”
Mentally warped people with self-esteem issues may think like this. “I wouldn’t be a part of any club that would have me” type of thinking is all this is. The rest of the 99% of human beings like a good thing to come along.
This conditioning turns in to a perception sometimes. EVEN worse. You just talk to a woman you sexually desire but don’t show any desire, she in turn responds well. You maybe even try to act disinterested. “Alright she is liking me” you think.
You then later on make an advance, and get “we should just be friends” or “I have to get up early”. Also known as letting you down easy. She wasn’t attracted to your non-sexual act. She was just being polite to someone who she was introduced to or talked to her. People do that sometimes, just sometimes, with interesting people or nice people. End game comes, closing time, time for the mamba wamba. Suddenly you have broken this precedent in attempting sex/kiss/intimacy.
Drag it on with getting her phone number, meeting her, taking her out on a date later, drag it on long as you like, but if she doesn’t see you as a sexual being, an attractive sexual partner, closing time comes, then it’s all been just a big waste of time.
You’ve done that. Seen that. Heard of actions like this and they worked? Well it could have worked quicker with the same couple because they were so physically hot for each other, it could have worked out a number of ways. Only in cases of extreme attraction does this work. We aren’t in the business of getting lucky here folks; we are going to drive home the right way.
Never hide your sexual desires to be “liked”. Never pretend “oh I’m not interested in you” to get past her conditioning against sex. This will not only backfire it will waste your time.
“Women say the first thing they want is a sense of humor”
“Chicks dig my sense of humor”
“Damn John gets laid a lot, must be because he keeps the chicks laughing”
A commonly observed scenario: a woman laughs at guy’s jokes, and then ends up having sex with him later on. Predictably, every guy there who sees it says,
“She must like a guy with a sense of humor”, and proceed to go out and ENTERTAIN, rather than ATTRACT women, in hopes that she will like them SOOO much she will jump his bones right there. This is not going to happen unless she is VERY attracted to him in another way. We want to work with what looks we have and move them in the right directions for sex better than other guys, not create a non sexual rapport with jokes and funny stories.